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Topic: Asking your Opponent to Resign, Rude or Not?
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Is asking your opponent to resign rude? Disrespectfull? Always?
This question showed up in several other topics, concerning other subjects. I would like to hear your opinion.
At the topic about the 50 games-rule I read a comment from Alib2004, who stated that he thought asking your opponent to resign is RUDE and DISRESPECTFULL. Well, I like to give my opinion.
This is what happened to me;
When I was 16 years old, no drivers-licence yet, I played for the chess club of my hometown. We had to play a team-match 120 miles from home. The game was about promotion. We had 40 moves for 2 hours and after that 20 moves for an additional hour. Games started at 8p.m. and should be finished at 12p.m. My game did not finish at that time, and had to be suspended. The score was at that moment 5,5-3,5 in our favour. The situation of my game was hopeless for my opponent. You are not allowed to talk to your opponent in official games. Trying to resolve the problem, my team-captain even offered a draw to the arbiter. Not excepted, so the next week me and my team-captain had to drive another 240 miles to finish the game.
This is what I call RUDE, no respect at all.
At internet chess you can talk to your opponent, and I admit, in hopelessly lost positions and positions without any material to keep on fighting, I did ask my opponent to resign.
And sometimes after a "funny" response from him/her, I asked if it gives a "kick" getting checkmated like a little child.
Somewhere GileCar wrote:....keepin, the game going on for another 4 months, by moving once in the 6 days...I JUST HATE THE GUY
And yes..after 37 years I still hate that guy and that lousy chessclub, who let us drive, unnecessary another 240 miles.
Well?
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What I learned from my experience (my personal opinion) is:
* Ask an opponent to resign is rude. (Always).
* Having a hopeless position and do not resign is rude. (most of the times, not always tough)
* Having a hopeless position/time and refuse a draw offer is rude.
* Having a hopeless position and ask a draw is rude. But a good position with little time is not rude.
* To win on time is sometimes rude, but not always.
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May the common sense guide you.
Cheers,
Beco.
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Maybe here in internet games, if you're not too concerned with ratings, you can even resign yourself in completely winning positions, thus trying to make a point. If your opponent gets it, that is. And even if he doesn't, let him enjoy his "win", I wouldn't care much about such games anyway, especially if they're just friendlies, but I try and bear with tournament games (it's still difficult, though  ).
I know it's radical, but I find it even more disrespectful to prolong the game needlessly in hopeless situations. My thought is this: if someone outplays me and reaches a position even I could win easily, how could he not win it? I think you can guess I am an early "resigner".
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Well, The Alchemist, I hope you read my topic "a Test" as well, and win the 2nd.price. If you do, you are welcome to resign all 5 games... 
But seriously, I fully agree with your comments and those from Gil as well. As hard as I try to understand players who never give-up a game, especially if they hardly move, I don,t manage!
I like to explain the way I think.
Beco gave us some guide-lines, and I agree with his remarks 2,3 and 4.
His last remark, winning on time, I totally disagree.
Chess is a sport about the combination INTELECT and TIME. If you play chess, the flag of your clock falls, before you made the right number of moves, You Loose, No Discussion! On some other sites I play, my opponent don,t make his move on time, I Win, Automaticly, I don,t need to claim the game and that is the way it should be. On Queen Alice it is different, but I still claim the games, unless its someone from my buddylist (and this also, just because I don,t want to loose this player as a friend)
But coming back to the point. Beco agrees with Alib2004 , under all circumstances it is always rude to ask your opponent to resign.
Well, I am not pretty sure about that.
I realize there are persons who like to play chess on internet, not having really a clue about the "in,s and out,s" of the game. I play them untill the end of the game, without any comment; I do respect them.
But different is, players who know about the ethics of chess, going to loose the game, don,t give up, hardly don,t move, or even worse: Don,t move at all untill the time is finished.
Here is my point. Now I ask once again, is it rude? And how do I ask it delicate, Gil?
Must say, I am not proud to called a few of the QA members little babys, but knowing my own hot-blooded temparament also happy not calling them "Masochist" and taking the concequences of that...
Once again, I am not talking about totally beginners, is it really rude? a lack of ethics? a lack of respect?
I don,t think so.
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Here's my 2 cents:
I'm not that good at chess, and sometimes I'll resign, sometimes I won't. It may be because the opponent is a much better player and I'm learning, or I may be going for a longshot stalemate in case the opponent makes a mistake, or it just doesn't occur me that I should (as your opponent 37 years ago may not have realised how inconvenient would it be for you to return on the next day, hence his behaviour).
It's not personal, I hope I'm not being rude, and I certainly won't mind resingning if asked politely. One could say:
"Hi there, I noticed that I have a clear advantage, and since there is a limit on the number of games on this site, it would help a lot if we could speed up, or if you would resign. I'd gladly play you again later on." Or something like that (I still wasn't ever so sure of victory to ask anyone that... Maybe some day in the future... ). But still, others could feel ofended with this request, or just don't want to resign, and it's their right as well.
About claiming time expired games, I generally don't, unless it's dragging a tournament (there would be others interested in the result); or the oponent is clearly overwhelmed (that hasn't happened much since the 50 game rule); or one special case, when this opponent would log in every day, having only 2 open games, but only move on the last hour on each game... One day he finally missed his deadline! 
I don't like when I loose on time, but I believe that is part of the game, and the site does give you alternatives for when you are unavailable to play.
I agree with Beco, it's a matter of common sense.
Regards,
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I just want to say, that I don't have troubles with 50 games rule (atm I have only 2 active games), but still find it VERY RUDE for a guy to play on with 2 pieces down, even if not moving on a last day, like he does (http://www.queenalice.com/game.php?id=276087).
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