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Does anyone have any good chess jokes to share, particularly jokes that could be used in a movie about chess?
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You can browse around if you wish on this page, there are many funny articles: http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Lab/7378/chess.htm
Some quotes: http://www.xs4all.nl/~timkr/chess/quotes.htm
Other than that, the only jokes I can think of so far is...
What's the worse injury that can happen to a chessplayer? The dislocation of the jaw because of yawning so much.
Paul Morphy was once playing with a man who played very slowly and took several hours for some moves. After one such wait, Morphy politely addressed his opponent: "Have you decided on your move yet?" And the opponent replied: "What? Isn't it your move?"
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http://www.chessebook.com/anekdoty.php has lot of chess jokes 
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The few I know...
A man plays a game of chess with his dog.
Came a passerby who looked at this intriguing scene.
-That dog is amazing! To be able to play chess like that.
The man, after playing his move replied:
-Not really, he has only won 2 times out of 5 
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What to do if your opponent fall asleep when it's his turn to play? Waking him would violate article 19.1 of the FIDE rule:
It's forbidden to disturb your opponent whatever the reason
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Twinigo wrote: What to do if your opponent fall asleep when it's his turn to play? Waking him would violate article 19.1 of the FIDE rule:
It's forbidden to disturb your opponent whatever the reason |
At the risk of sounding like a dull, humourless drone, it's Article 12.6 and it actually says,
| It is forbidden to distract or annoy the opponent in any manner whatsoever. This includes unreasonable claims or unreasonable offers of a draw. |
It's unclear to me whether or not waking a sleeping opponent would be annoying or distracting. The correct thing to do would be either to let your opponent lose on time (if you're an asshole) or talk to the arbiter about it (if you're a gentleman).
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| At the risk of sounding like a dull, humourless drone, it's Article 12.6 and it actually says, |
You are completely right! Mainly at the first part of the sentence!
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