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Talking of multiples, I've got two goldfish. I call them 'One' and 'Two'. That's so that if one dies, I've still got two. Ha Ha.
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Motorist to village idiot: I say, my man, could you tell me where the nearest town is?
Idiot: Yes sir, turn left at the junction, go on for five miles then turn right and go on for two miles.
Motorist: thank you,
Idiot: Ah, but if it was me sir, I wouldn't start from here!
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I apologise for this sick joke.
Doctor to patient: I'm sorry Mr.Smith, but you've got two very serious illnesses.
Patient. Well, go on give me the bad news. What's the first thing wrong with me?
Doctor: I'm sorry to say, but you've got AIDS.
Patient: Oh, my God! Not AIDS. That's terrible. What could be worse than that!
Doctor: Well, I'm sorry Mr. Smith but you also have Alzheimer's.
Patient: Oh! No! Not Alzheimer's. That's awful! Ah, well. At least I haven't got AIDS.
(Yes, I know, I should concentrate on chess.)
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The three advantages of senility:
1. You can hide your own Easter eggs!
2. You make new friends every day!
3. You can hide your own Easter eggs!
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I think I'm becoming senile. The other day I stopped for a moment as I was walking upstairs and then I couldn't remember If I was going up or coming down.
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